Poems by Anil Banatwala

Why?

I'm looking at myself in the mirror again,
Scrutinizing at my eyebrows, when,
I get lost in thoughts of you and me back then,
Thinking hey! You didn't laugh like the rest of them,

Then I think of how last week when I was kissing you,
And now I'm in the bathroom feelin' so fucking blue,
If it hurts so bad, and it's only been a week!
Then I would die, when you've gotta go for keeps,

I know, yeah, it's only been a couple days,
But many months from now, it won't be the same,
We both know that the time will come,
And I'll miss you, for so long, so damn long.

Why?
Why does it always gotta be this way?
Why?
Why won't you be selfless and try to stay?
'Cause I love you hon, and I miss your breath,
And I know so much, that you feel no less,
But my life, has always been this way,
Everyone I know always goes away,
Why?

I came down last weekend, just to feel your flesh,
We made love for hours, yeah, "I love you" sex,
But now I'm all alone, and it's gonna be awile,
And all I want to do is to see your smile,

Oh I miss you baby, and the time goes slow,
It plays those games with us, yeah, you know,
When I'm with you, a second is an hour,
But when I'm alone, I just ponder in the shower,

I think of you, and the warmth that you bring,
And how you reach for the notes when you sing,
And my smile stretches from happy ear to happy ear,
And down my face drips a salty tear,

Why?
Why does it always gotta be this way?
Why?
Why won't you be selfless and try to stay?
'Cause I love you hon, and I miss your breath,
And I know so much, that you feel no less,
But my life, has always been this way,
Everyone I know always goes away,
Why?

I hold your hand so often, then realize it's mine,
I cry even harder, I say "just one last time",
But I know that even after this sullen day,
I'll feel death strike, when I here your sweet name,

"PLEASE." I try once again to beg on my knees,
But I fear all I can say is a whiny lil' "please",
I want you back dear, I want you to stay,
But I looked out the door and you just left today.

Nancie

You look at him,
but why?
doesn't his appearance cause you to turn away?
You walk to him,
but why?
doesn't your brain make you run like the others?
You sit with him,
how dare you?
his presence alone should fill you with fear...
I look at him because I could have been,
I walk to him because I might have been,
I sit with him because I should have been,
but I was saved.
Now I'm saving him.

Angels


I thought I saw the Angels fall, 
When I saw your smile, 
And I know I felt an Angel die, 
When I watched you cry, 
And in my dreams I saw you clench your hands 
---holding something tight, 
I reached out to see and my hands were already there 
---wrapped in yours,

Kiss


Thinking of you,
Of your delicate voice,
Of your fragile soul,
Picturing your lips,
And remembering our kiss.

-Anil